Backstory - Your Aloofness Is Just Your Protective Coloring

It was already dark when they left the Public Security Bureau. The streets were sparsely populated, and the streetlights glowed dimly in the biting night wind. The Maybach was parked by the roadside, and warm air and the sweet smell of baked goods spread throughout the car.

Shen Zhengning and Zhuang Mingqi each held a piece of white chocolate almond mille-feuille. The car's soundproofing was excellent; the subtle sound of the flaky pastry breaking seemed like a soundtrack to the scene of the north wind tearing at the withered branches and leaves outside the window.

No one spoke. The sympathetic reassurances, the insightful deductions, the grand principles that seemed profound but were actually obvious... compared to such pale, barren words, the small, high-sugar, high-fat pastry could at least genuinely provide calories and sugar, temporarily driving away the bitter chill that lingered in their spirits.

Although it was still a long way from the case being closed, and the police had only just begun interrogating Zou Jinliang, with a long back-and-forth still to come, both Shen Zhengning and Zhuang Mingqi had a feeling of 'Ah, it's over'—

"Wait a minute," Shen Zhengning swallowed the last bite of his pastry and pulled out two wet wipes to clean his hands. "I knew I forgot something... I didn't get to ask Yuan Hang what exactly provoked Zou Jinliang."

"The psychology of a murderer is different from that of a normal person, not to mention someone like Zou Jinliang, whose anti-human tendencies are practically a family heirloom." Zhuang Mingqi wasn't particularly fixated on his motive for the attack. He had long understood that human malice could be baseless, and trying to understand the perpetrator's thought process would only lead him into deeper confusion. "Maybe he just happened to see my name while scrolling through Weibo, remembered a person like me existed, and was afraid I'd retaliate, so he decided to strike first."

"Hmm, that explanation is plausible," Shen Zhengning mused, stroking his chin. He was injured, after all, and the afternoon had been mentally taxing; his complexion was at least a shade paler. But the habit of thinking persisted, and his mind couldn't stop: "Zou Jinliang had already suffered heavy losses from the 'Jin Se' blow, and he took a desperate risk to get rid of Ye Tongsheng. Not long after, Gao Qihui was arrested, and then you appeared with a high profile, triggering his panic and vigilance."

"The two cases involving you and Ye Tongsheng have a very clear distinction. Zou Jinliang's murder of Ye Tongsheng was a planned, premeditated act, while the attack on you in the park was clearly a crime of passion, which indicates he had already given up on any escape route and was acting recklessly. But generally speaking, people with extremely low moral baselines have a relatively higher psychological threshold. Was your appearance really that big of a trigger for him?"

Zhuang Mingqi didn't want him to exhaust himself further, nor did he want to think about these unpleasant matters outside of the police station, so he said bluntly, "Stop thinking about it. Wait until Yuan Hang finishes the interrogation, and you can just ask him directly. What's the point of trying to figure out a murderer's twisted psychology?"

His profile as he focused on driving was quite cold and unapproachable, but very pleasing to the eye. Shen Zhengning had a flash of inspiration, a lightbulb 'dinging' on above his head: "I get it now. The killer thought he had eliminated the biggest threat and was secretly planning a comeback, but then he accidentally came across news about you online. Forget being young and beautiful, you're also so successful. Compared to his own garbage life of utter failure, it must have really stung. So, anger rose in his heart, malice grew in his gut, and he grabbed a weapon and came to get revenge on you."

Zhuang Mingqi: "..."

His eyes shifted slightly, giving Shen Zhengning a glance with an unreadable meaning. He asked abruptly, "Back then in the park, while waiting for the ambulance, is this what you meant too?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" This line of thought, which jumped all over the place, successfully stumped Shen Zhengning. "What on earth are you talking about?"

Zhuang Mingqi brought up an old score nonchalantly: "You didn't let me cry, that line about it being a waste not to film it."

Shen Zhengning: "..."

"You just said 'beautiful,' didn't you?" Zhuang Mingqi's thin lips parted, his enunciation like the sharpening of a knife. "Although I spent many years abroad, I did receive nine years of compulsory education. In my memory, that word isn't typically used to describe men. What do you say, Great Detective?"

The great detective was caught red-handed and was momentarily speechless.

But thinking about it carefully, he was often struck by a simple glance or look back from Zhuang Mingqi, but it seemed he had never actually complimented his appearance to his face. He always secretly thought in his heart that it was excusable for someone so good-looking to have a bit of a bad temper. Having one perfect being like Silver, he shouldn't be greedy for more.

"Your version is outdated," he argued slyly. "Nowadays online, beautiful, handsome, and pretty all mean the same thing. The highest compliment is that you could be a child model. If you don't believe me, go check on Xiaohongshu, really."

Zhuang Mingqi let out a cold laugh that could probably alleviate global warming. He was clearly an old hand who had been tricked by swiping right before.

"Unwilling to face certain realities, you force yourself to swallow all the pain, pretending to be a cat that's fine with everything. But in reality, you can't digest it, so it just gets stuck in your heart. You'll only cough it up when you finally can't take it anymore one day..." Shen Zhengning leaned against the spacious seat back, his eyelids half-lowered, and said leisurely, "With this habit of yours, or should I say, this disposition, you really can't blame me for always doubting your species."

Zhuang Mingqi, having failed spectacularly at changing the subject: "Thank you for the euphemistic metaphor, but you already said the word, didn't you?"

Shen Zhengning: "See, you're still going off-topic."

When that sharpness turned its barrel on him, it was indeed quite a headache. Zhuang Mingqi quickly weighed his options in his mind. He felt that acting pitiful might let him get away with it, but speaking frankly and openly wouldn't have any negative consequences either.

Analyzing himself for someone other than his therapist, without any ulterior motive, would have been an absolute fantasy for him three months ago. However, three months later, he had been so molded into the image of a cat that he'd lost his temper, and even started to think recklessly, 'Since I'm a cat, it doesn't matter what I do anyway. Shen Zhengning will be there to catch me.'

The crack that had loosened after he unburdened his secret was faintly shimmering with light, tempting him to look beyond the darkness.

"I don't do it on purpose... Hmm, no, that's not right. To be precise, it should be considered a kind of... habit?" Zhuang Mingqi was still not very familiar with this kind of self-analysis, stumbling over his words a little. "Things have already happened, so I can only accept them. What else can I do? I can't just throw the steering wheel aside and start wailing, can I?"

"Negative emotions are still emotions. You should cherish your emotions. Venting and confiding are normal ways to find relief." Shen Zhengning clicked his tongue, seemingly a little dissatisfied. "Hasn't your therapist ever reminded you that your way of thinking has been influenced by past events—this 'I can't trust or rely on anyone but myself' mentality."

"I know. Anyone who has gone through that kind of thing has a bit of that. After all, I was sent in by my own family. Once the wall of blood ties collapses, who else can you rely on?" Zhuang Mingqi said. "Besides, there's no humanitarianism in a Concentration Camp. Crying and begging for mercy is useless, and complaining to others is also useless. Everyone is just as miserable. It does nothing but annoy people."

"It's the same after getting out. The moment I mention those things, everyone's face falls. It's as if I'm attending my own funeral wherever I go. After experiencing that change in atmosphere once or twice, you just don't want to talk anymore."

The words spoken received no reply; the outstretched hand was not held. The trauma and the secondary damage completely destroyed his sense of security. So he became tight-lipped and never confided in others. When faced with negative emotions, he would just stuff them into a bottle whole, nonchalantly changing the subject to distract himself, calling it "accepting reality."

"This trip really wasn't for nothing," Shen Zhengning sighed for no apparent reason. "I know so many of your secrets now. Am I considered to be inside your city walls?"

'Actually, you are the city walls.' Zhuang Mingqi silently corrected him in his heart. The Maybach slid smoothly into the parking space. He nodded and replied, "Yes, you are."

Shen Zhengning got out of the car, holding onto the door for support, and settled back into his wheelchair in the cold wind. "Can I order some food then?"

Zhuang Mingqi pushed him toward the inpatient building. "Are you skipping steps? Would a normal person make a request at a time like this? Shouldn't you first say something heartwarming and philosophical to comfort me? Like, 'I'll listen to you properly when you need to vent' or something."

"Aren't I listening right now," Shen Zhengning ordered him with perfect justification. "I want to order the 'the part you skipped'. Hurry up."

Zhuang Mingqi: "...You're not afraid of secondary damage now?"

Shen Zhengning replied with a straight face: "Because a long pain is worse than a short one. Rather than torturing yourself, you might as well say it and torture me along with you."

A faint chuckle was heard in the wind, shut out in the dark winter night by the glass doors.

The warm air and lights inside the building quickly dispelled the chill from their bodies. The hospital room was as warm as spring. Shen Zhengning's back, which had been strained for most of the day, was finally able to rest. He changed his clothes and lay on the hospital bed, lazily prompting, "Ahem, President Zhuang, have you organized your speech? Can we begin?"

"What's with that secretary tone?" Zhuang Mingqi sat down speechlessly by the bed. "Don't have high expectations for this bedtime story. You might get insomnia after hearing it, so don't blame me for not warning you."

Shen Zhengning was poised and ready, his eyes wide like copper bells. "Please begin."

"Hmm... let me think where to start," Zhuang Mingqi said, rubbing his chin. "When I was born, it was still the era of the one-child policy, so logically, I should have been the only son in the family. But my dad is rather feudal. He felt that the family business he had worked so hard to build must be passed down, and one child wasn't enough insurance, so he found someone outside and secretly raised a few illegitimate sons."

Shen Zhengning: "Uh... what am I getting myself into here, Kangxi Dynasty? The nine princes fighting for the throne?"

"Not that many, only three," Zhuang Mingqi actually explained honestly. "The year I was sixteen, my mother divorced and went to the USA, and I stayed with my dad. He felt the family couldn't be without a mistress, so he married the mother of my younger brother, his second child."

"My younger brother's name is Zhuang Tianheng. He's only a year younger than me and went to the same school. At that time, there was a male classmate in high school who was a semi-open secret gay man that everyone tacitly knew about. He tried to confess to me in private, but I rejected him. But somehow, this matter spread throughout the school. When Zhuang Tianheng found out, he went back and told his mother.

"This stepmother of mine is a ruthless character. She believed that Zhuang Tianheng should be the one to inherit the family business, and wanted to use this opportunity to make my dad suspect my sexual orientation. After all, his mindset is exceptionally feudal. If his eldest son was a suspected homosexual, then for the sake of the family lineage, he might give the majority of the family assets to the second son who could produce grandsons."

"First, she lied about a teacher contacting my parents, letting my dad catch wind of the matter. Then she hid a few adult comics in my room, and specifically had the housekeeper clean them out from under my bed when my dad was home. My dad almost had a hypertensive fit from anger. After I came home from school, he confronted me with those comics, asking if I was gay."

"I said I was."

Shen Zhengning: "..."

The corner of Zhuang Mingqi's lip curled into a smile that was sly but not bitter. "Hard to understand, isn't it? Because of a moment of spiteful defiance, I landed myself in a Concentration Camp."

"To be honest, it wasn't a wise move, but it's very understandable," Shen Zhengning sighed. "Because you've always been the type of person who refuses to bow their head."

"Some people don't understand, simply because they never tried to understand you in the first place."