April on Earth, a Hint of Joy (47)

After leaving Professor Han’s lab, Lu Huaizheng drove in stops and starts. A journey that should have taken half an hour ended up taking an hour and a half. He drove extremely slowly, moving at the most sluggish pace of his life through the flowing traffic, like a snail’s crawl when he first learned to fly.

At a traffic light, he spaced out, remaining still for a long time. The cars behind grew impatient, honking incessantly, their blares densely filling the city’s main road.

Snapping back to reality, he expressionlessly stepped on the accelerator and finally came to a stop at the hospital entrance. He turned off the engine but did not get out.

...

Lu Huaizheng sat in the car all night until his throat grew dry and scratchy. He got out and bought a pack of cigarettes from a small convenience store across the street. Leaning against the car door, he smoked one cigarette after another, almost without pause.

When did he start falling for Yu Hao?

He couldn’t remember.

It seemed that by the time he realized it, this girl had already taken root in his heart, impossible to remove.

Looking back now, when he first approached her, she had been quite resistant. When they played games on the balcony, he sometimes wanted to see how she was doing, but the moment he moved closer, she would subtly shift away.

When she fainted during the sports meet, he finally understood why the boys in their class had dared not get close to her.

When he held her, she had trembled the entire time. He thought it was due to convulsions from fainting.

It never occurred to him that this was the reason. The realization felt like countless sharp swords piercing straight through his heart, stabbing deeply, making it hard for him to breathe.

Leaning against the car door and smoking, Lu Huaizheng thought, if only he had met her earlier—at eight years old—he would have fought to protect her.

This sense of helplessness filled him with grief and frustration.

In his life, he had fought to protect so many people, yet he couldn’t protect her when she was at her most vulnerable and helpless.

If it were visible, his heart would surely be pierced by countless swords, each one destroying his last shred of rationality.

Just before he left, Professor Han had called out to him:

“Huaizheng, you must believe in justice. One day, justice will spread like dandelion seeds to every corner of the world. I told you this not to ask you to seek revenge for Yu Hao. Her uncle is scum, capable of anything. You are a Chinese soldier with a bright future, and Yu Hao is a good girl. I don’t want the two of you to sacrifice your prospects and futures for such societal trash. Think about your future with Yu Hao—you must be rational! I won’t say more. You’re a smart kid; I believe you understand.”

How could he not understand?

Hearing the words “your future with Yu Hao” was like stepping into muddy ground. A shiver ran through him, every pore on his body tingling. If that day really came, how would he feel?

He couldn’t imagine it.

He always felt Yu Hao was still angry with him.

Actually, before she transferred schools, the two of them were in the middle of a cold war.

At that time, Lu Huaizheng was preparing for the city basketball finals, training every day. Aside from a few main classes, he skipped almost all electives. During that period, they saw very little of each other, and Yu Hao helped him with his homework. Then one day, for some reason, she refused to do his homework anymore and avoided him whenever she saw him. He was too busy with training to find time, but he finally managed to ask his coach for leave to catch her in class. Before he could say much, she would excuse herself to go to the bathroom or the teacher’s office, giving him no chance to communicate.

His teammates said he had been too busy and had neglected her, that she was throwing a tantrum or feeling insecure.

Later, he saw her walking with Fu Donghui from Class Five, apparently going to the teacher’s office to move books. He wanted to help her, but she rejected him in front of Fu Donghui. He grew impatient too—after repeatedly being brushed off and even rejected in front of other boys, he thought, Who doesn’t have a temper?

Back then, Lu Huaizheng was young and impulsive, with a strong competitive streak. Although his grandfather had taught him not to be too calculative, he still felt somewhat unwilling. Back then, if he talked too much with girls like Hu Siqi, Yu Hao would ignore him for days.

Before meeting her, he hadn’t cared about these things. But after meeting her, afraid she would get angry, he hardly even spoke to Hu Siqi. Sometimes Hu Siqi liked to tease him, hooking her leg around his during class, which made him lose his temper and snap at her for the first time.

Drawing in the sand for her, locking the exercise grounds for her, fighting for her...

Not just at High School 18, but even students from other schools knew damn well that Lu Huaizheng liked Yu Hao.

He was playful back then, with many friends. Every day after school, a large group of students from other schools would wait for him at the gate. Those guys weren’t exactly good influences, but Lu Huaizheng made friends without discriminating—if they got along, they were friends; if not, no matter how high their status, he wouldn’t bother with them.

Later, Lu Huaizheng noticed that Yu Hao didn’t like him hanging out with them. Although he agreed verbally, he still occasionally went to meet them in secret. Once, after playing games at an internet café, they gathered downstairs to smoke and chat. Leaning against the wall, he held a cigarette between his fingers and enthusiastically discussed the game they had just played.

In the midst of his excitement, he turned his head and saw Yu Hao staring intently at him from not far away.

In that moment, he didn’t know what came over him. It felt like he had been caught cheating, and he guiltily stubbed out his cigarette before obediently standing against the wall.

Someone asked, “What’s wrong with you?”

Lu Huaizheng bit his lip and whispered, “My ancestor is here.”

Then, looking up, he saw Yu Hao turn and leave.

Lu Huaizheng quickly said goodbye to his friends and chased after her.

He followed her silently for three blocks, like a bodyguard, not daring to call out to her. He followed her all the way to a small alley, where a shabby movie theater stood. He remembered that the dilapidated theater was promoting a newly released romance film with a provocative poster titled Love Everywhere, Kiss Everywhere.

It was summer. The narrow alley was clogged with disorderly parked tricycles, littered with garbage, and reeked of foul odors.

Lu Huaizheng didn’t notice any of it. His eyes were fixed solely on the girl. Yu Hao stopped at the alley entrance and turned around to glare at him. “Why are you following me?”

Leaning against the theater’ doorframe, he still acted recklessly and mischievously: “Can’t I just be going the same way?”

Yu Hao said nothing, her expression tense.

Realizing the seriousness of the situation, he stood at attention and admitted his mistake quickly: “I was wrong.”

In a strict sense, he was quite like Zhao Dailin—outwardly careless but inwardly disciplined and cautious. He was tolerant and generous with his friends, adhering to one principle: admit your mistakes and face the consequences.

Yu Hao ignored him at the time, too lazy to waste words on him, and turned to leave.

Lu Huaizheng stopped her, cornering her in the small alley, encircling her as he softly coaxed and apologized repeatedly.

“I was wrong.”

“Really, I was wrong.”

...

He didn’t know how many times he said “I was wrong.”

Finally, the little girl couldn’t help but smile.

Leaning against the wall, she looked up at him pitifully, a slight curl at the corner of her lips.

At that moment, Lu Huaizheng felt like even the begonia flowers on the wall glowed brighter.

Later, in his sophomore year of college, he shared an apartment with Zhou Siyue near Tsinghua University. On a whim, he remembered that day and that movie. During National Day, he found a video rental store and rented the uncut version of Love Everywhere, Kiss Everywhere that had been playing at the alley entrance that day.

He usually watched military films and knew after just a few glances that he had no interest in romantic movies. But the scene at the alley entrance that day had been so deeply etched in his mind that he couldn’t shake it off. He remembered every detail clearly and always wanted to finish watching that movie.

Back then, the State Administration of Radio, Film, and Television hadn’t yet imposed strict controls, so the movie was quite explicit, with many steamy scenes.

His sexual awakening had come early, and he had been exposed to such things since middle school. But he wasn’t frequent about it—at first, he watched out of curiosity about human anatomy, later for pure release, but not often.

He didn’t consider himself a highly lustful person, unlike other boys in the dorm who couldn’t sleep without masturbating daily.

He could go a week without it. He had many hobbies—playing basketball and video games made time fly. Only when stirred would he feel the need to release.

But then Zhou Siyue brought his girlfriend back to the basement.

The pent-up emotions inside him were completely stirred. Having been single for so many years, he was quite skilled at this, but for some reason, that night in the basement felt strangely taboo, making it especially captivating...

In the end, it was the first time he couldn’t hold back, letting out a low moan.