Chapter 25 Part 2

Zhou Wan lowered her gaze and looked at the words on it—Shostakovich.

She opened it. Inside was sheet music.

His biography was written on the first page.

Shostakovich was from the Soviet Union, born in that special era of the 20th century. A black terror shrouded the country, and everyone felt insecure. Many artists spoke out for justice and sacrificed themselves for it, but only Shostakovich chose silence, becoming a "court artist" scorned and disdained by the world.

He was an artist about whom the world's opinions were mixed.

At the very bottom of the biography, there was a sentence—

"Love me when I am dirty, not when I am clean. When I am clean, everyone loves me."

Zhou Wan paused for a moment, then read it again.

It was as if she could hear Lu Xixiao's voice from yesterday when he said this to her.

Deep and firm.

Zhou Wan lowered her eyes and put the book back in its place.

She was grateful to Lu Xixiao. At least yesterday, that sentence had truly given her strength.

So, even after that physical examination report, even though she no longer needed the remaining 150,000 from Guo Xiangling, and no longer needed to use Lu Xixiao's favor, she didn't sever all ties with him.

She was willing to stay by his side, to make him less lonely, to make him as happy as possible.

Until the day he grew completely tired of her.

When that day came, she would leave, completely ending this misunderstanding.

Zhou Wan tidied up the living room. After waiting for a while, Lu Xixiao still hadn't woken up, so she left quietly and went to the congee shop next door.

She bought a glutinous rice roll for herself and finished it on the way. For Lu Xixiao, she brought back a bowl of congee and a steamer of crab roe xiaolongbao.

Pushing open the ajar door, Zhou Wan went to the kitchen, took out the breakfast, and placed it in porcelain bowls.

Unsure if Lu Xixiao was asleep or already awake, Zhou Wan walked to the bedroom door to listen for any sounds. She was worried the breakfast would get cold and not taste good if it got any later.

A very soft speaking voice came from within the bedroom.

He was probably awake and on the phone.

Zhou Wan knocked lightly on the door. "Lu Xixiao, are you having breakfast?"

No answer.

But the voice, intermittent, continued.

She waited a moment, feeling something was wrong, and knocked again. "I'm coming in."

Half a minute later, Zhou Wan pushed the door open and entered.

The bedroom curtains were tightly closed, without a sliver of light. As light poured in when the door opened, Zhou Wan, afraid of disturbing him, immediately closed it.

The bedroom became pitch black again.

It took a long while for Zhou Wan's eyes to adjust to the darkness and see Lu Xixiao on the bed.

He wasn't awake. He was lying in bed, his brows tightly furrowed, large beads of sweat forming on his forehead. His face was pale, his hand clutched the blanket so tightly that his veins stood out, and he was talking in his sleep as if in a state of hysteria.

The bedroom was very quiet.

Zhou Wan didn't make a sound, startled by the sight of Lu Xixiao like this.

Vulnerable.

She actually saw vulnerability in Lu Xixiao.

Like an exquisite piece of porcelain perched on a cliff, teetering on the brink of falling.

A slight gust of wind would send it plunging off the cliff, shattering into pieces, overturned forever.

She heard Lu Xixiao's delirious words clearly—

"Mom, don't." His voice trembled. "I'm begging you... don't jump..."

Don't jump.

Zhou Wan's heart trembled.

She remembered what Jiang Fan had told her before, that Lu Xixiao's mother had committed suicide by jumping off a building.

Realizing she had accidentally intruded upon Lu Xixiao's private space, she fumbled to leave, but in the next second, Lu Xixiao suddenly shot up, drenched in sweat, breathing rapidly, his chest heaving.

Zhou Wan stared fixedly at his expression, feeling she had probably guessed the end of that dream.

She didn't know how many times Lu Xixiao had repeatedly had that kind of nightmare.

Some nightmares, you wake up from with relief, thankful that it was just a dream.

But what Lu Xixiao discovered every time he woke up was that it wasn't just a dream.

It was reality.

The hell in his dream was the place he inhabited in reality.

...

Lu Xixiao took a full two minutes to calm his breathing. He looked up and saw Zhou Wan standing at the door.

"Lu Xixiao."

Zhou Wan's voice was very soft as she tried to comfort him. "You can't bring back the dead. Your mother would definitely want to see you happy and carefree every day. No matter where she is now, at least she loves you."

Lu Xixiao suddenly strode off the bed, looking at Zhou Wan coldly, as indifferently as if looking at a stranger.

"Zhou Wan, you don't know anything, yet you dare say these things in front of me. Don't fucking think so highly of yourself."

There was a crushing pressure in his eyes, weighing heavily on Zhou Wan's shoulders. He said coldly, "Get out."

Zhou Wan couldn't move her feet.

Lu Xixiao's eyes were bloodshot. He enunciated each word coldly, "I said, get out."

Jiang Fan wasn't wrong. The topic of "mom" was a forbidden zone for Lu Xixiao that couldn't be touched.

Zhou Wan dragged her aching foot back home. Grandma was sitting by the window cutting paper decorations, and the sunlight slanted in, warming half the table.

"Grandma."

"Wanwan, you're back. Where did you go so early this morning? I woke up and saw you weren't in your room."

Zhou Wan paused. Only then did she remember she hadn't told Grandma she didn't come back last night. Fortunately, Grandma hadn't realized this.

"I had something to do." She glossed over the topic vaguely and said, "You shouldn't cut those paper decorations, it's bad for your eyes."

"I'm cutting them slowly. The New Year is in another two months. We can put them up then, and it'll look more festive."

Zhou Wan smiled, but the smile was fleeting.

She was truly exhausted and couldn't bring herself to smile.

"Grandma, I'm going back to my room to rest for a bit."

"Mm, okay."

Zhou Wan went back to her room, reapplied the ointment, and lay down on the bed.

The Kobito doll was on her bedside table. Zhou Wan hugged it, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

For the next half month, Zhou Wan didn't see Lu Xixiao again.

Guo Xiangling didn't contact her either.

As for the remaining 150,000, as long as she didn't call Guo Xiangling to bring it up, Guo Xiangling would probably never give it to her, nor would she ever call her again.

But Zhou Wan didn't plan on taking it anyway.

Her ill-fated mother-daughter relationship with Guo Xiangling would perhaps end here.

She quit her part-time job at the arcade. When handing over her duties, she checked the balance of tickets on Lu Xixiao's game card. There were already 120,000, none of which had been redeemed.

Her injured leg had also healed. Zhou Wan returned to her former life: studying hard and making progress every day.

The workload for the physics competition training was getting heavier, and the problems were getting harder. She often worked late, but there was a sense of accomplishment every time she solved a problem, which was nice.

Gradually, another rumor started spreading around school.

That she had been dumped by Lu Xixiao.

No one was curious; everyone understood that this day would come sooner or later.

Even though Zhou Wan was indeed an outstanding student and was pure and beautiful, she wouldn't be treasured when she was with someone like Lu Xixiao. She only had that "first love" face, a quiet personality, and wasn't savvy with people. He would get tired of her sooner or later.

Gu Meng was afraid that Zhou Wan would be sad, so she often turned to observe her during class these days.

After all, when Lu Xixiao's ex-girlfriends were broken up with, which one of them didn't cry their heart out, hoping Lu Xixiao would have a change of heart?

"Wanwan."

Only later did Gu Meng dare to ask, "Did you and Lu Xixiao really break up?"

"We were never together," Zhou Wan said.

"Huh?"

Zhou Wan gave a faint smile. "Haven't I told you that several times?"

"But it was so obvious you two were together," Gu Meng said. "I thought you were just too shy to admit it."

Zhou Wan lowered her eyes, her voice holding a faint, gentle smile. "We weren't."

Gu Meng became even more indignant. "Scumbag!"

"..."

"He was all flirty with you but wouldn't define the relationship, and now he just ups and leaves." Gu Meng stood up for her. "What a waste of a handsome face, that damn scumbag!"

Zhou Wan just smiled and said nothing.

She knew clearly in her heart that she had no right to blame Lu Xixiao.