Chapter 27 Part 2

"Lu Zhongyue only came home that day. I probably hadn't seen him for several months by then, but I didn't stay there. Old Master Lu wanted me to go live at the old residence, but I refused and went to my maternal grandfather's house instead."

Lu Xixiao looked at a dark cloud in the sky. "But with the white-haired sending off the black-haired, my grandfather and grandmother also wasted away day by day. After another two years, they both passed away one after another."

"After that, I moved to the place I live in now by myself. It's a place my mom liked to live in before she got married."

Zhou Wan could hardly imagine how Lu Xixiao endured all of this back then.

At such a young age.

His sister, mother, grandmother, grandfather—they all left, one by one.

And he, too, was displaced, never truly settling down in one place.

Before all these changes, he had also been a child of fortune from a wealthy and happy family, receiving all the love and care, with a boundless future ahead of him.

For some reason, at this moment, Zhou Wan thought of the first time she went to his house to find him.

The day before was the anniversary of his mother's death. He had stayed home alone, unwilling to see anyone or go out.

Because she had mentioned his mother, he had gotten angry.

He had also seen through her ulterior motives for approaching him from the beginning and told her to leave.

At that moment, Zhou Wan had indeed decided to end this whole mess, apologized to him, walked to the door, and just as she pressed the handle, Lu Xixiao suddenly called out to her.

"Zhou Wan." His voice was deep and hoarse, like the desolate patch of weeds in the yard.

He sank into the sofa, looked up at the ceiling, closed his eyes, and conceded, "Zhou Wan, I'm hungry."

He must be lonely.

And afraid of being left alone again.

That's why the ever-so-proud Lu Xixiao would say something like that.

Zhou Wan sniffled, discreetly reached out and clasped his hand. Her grip was very light, one he could easily break free from with a slight struggle, but Lu Xixiao didn't move, letting her hold it.

"Lu Xixiao," she said softly. "My dad used to tell me that good people go to heaven after they pass away. Your mom will be watching over you, and she'll always be by your side."

She had mentioned his mother again.

But this time, Lu Xixiao didn't get angry.

Words like these might only fool a child, but Zhou Wan really didn't know what else she could say to comfort him.

Lu Xixiao chuckled lightly. "Forget it. If she saw me in this state, she'd only be more upset."

Zhou Wan didn't speak.

'If those words were true, Dad would probably be sad to see me too.'

'I've learned to lie, to use people, to pretend.'

'But I probably won't be able to go to heaven after I die. It's better that I can't see Dad, so he'll be less sad.'

The swing swayed. Lu Xixiao stood up. "Let's go."

The night was silent, the tree branches bare.

Lu Xixiao didn't hail a cab, so Zhou Wan followed him on foot. As they passed a bus stop sign, she tugged on his sleeve. "Should we take the bus?"

"Don't have any coins."

Zhou Wan felt her pocket. "I do."

Behind them was an advertisement for some tutoring center. Its blue and white light shone on Lu Xixiao, bathing him in a halo and outlining his tall, youthful figure.

After waiting for about ten minutes, the number 52 bus arrived.

Zhou Wan dropped two coins into the fare box.

There were few people on the last bus. The two of them sat in the second to last row, with Zhou Wan by the window.

The bus compartment was very quiet. Zhou Wan thought back to what he had just said, and her heart still felt heavy.

She recalled the sight of Lu Xixiao having a nightmare that day—his brow furrowed tightly, large beads of sweat on his forehead, his face pale, his hands gripping the blanket so hard the veins stood out, muttering deliriously—

"Mom, don't." His voice was fragile. "I'm begging you... don't jump..."

Later, at what point had he gotten angry? Zhou Wan tried to recall what she had said then.

The last sentence seemed to be... no matter where she is now, at least she still loves you.

The moment she said that, Lu Xixiao's expression changed.

Zhou Wan was taken aback.

The bus passed four stops and came to a halt.

Lu Xixiao was the first to get up and get off the bus.

Zhou Wan followed behind him. Suddenly, she called out, "Lu Xixiao."

He turned his head, his eyes dark.

"I know it might not be my place to say this..." Zhou Wan pursed her lips. "But I still want to ask you, you should know that your mother was sick back then, right?"

He didn't speak.

"Your mother was just sick, that's why she almost hurt your sister uncontrollably. It was also because she was sick, she was in too much pain, that she left you alone. None of this can deny that she still loved you."

Zhou Wan looked at him and said seriously, "It's just that there was a shroud covering her. She couldn't break free, and she couldn't see you outside of it. That's why she made that kind of decision."

When she decided to jump, no one appeared behind her to call out to her, like with Xue Xi today.

If someone had appeared at that moment and shouted Lu Xixiao's name in her ear, Zhou Wan believed she definitely wouldn't have jumped.

She had just walked into a dead end, her vision went black, and she couldn't see anything.

Lu Xixiao stared at her for two seconds, then looked away and said flatly, "Yeah, I know."

Maybe she was just overthinking it, but Zhou Wan still felt a sense of relief.

Reaching the entrance to her residential community, Zhou Wan waved at him. "I'll head in first then."

"Yeah."

The wind was too cold. Zhou Wan urged him to go back quickly too, then jogged inside.

Suddenly, from behind her, Lu Xixiao called out again, "Zhou Wan."

She stopped, her hair blown into a mess across her face as she turned around. "What is it?"

"Want to date?"

Lu Xixiao's eyes were jet black, staring straight at her. The dim yellow streetlight blurred the sharp angles of his features, casting a gentle and lingering tenderness around him.

"With me."

Zhou Wan froze, her expression dazed.

Hearing no reply, Lu Xixiao wasn't anxious. He stood where he was, watching her quietly.

She had never expected Lu Xixiao to say these things to her.

She had heard from other girls that Lu Xixiao had never been the one to confess to a girl. All his ex-girlfriends had been the ones to pursue him. If they were pretty, he'd agree; if not, he'd refuse.

So Zhou Wan had thought they would just continue on like this.

Until the day Lu Xixiao got tired of her, or got a new girlfriend.

Reason told Zhou Wan that she should refuse Lu Xixiao.

They were people from two different worlds, worlds apart.

She couldn't handle Lu Xixiao, couldn't take him on.

She was only 16. She had to prepare for the physics competition, prepare for the college entrance exams, earn money, and give her Grandma a good life. She couldn't afford a single misstep.

What's more, since Grandma couldn't have the surgery, she no longer urgently needed that three hundred thousand, nor did she need to use Lu Xixiao to threaten Guo Xiangling.

But Zhou Wan heard her own voice ask:

"If I date you, will you be happy?"

Lu Xixiao raised an eyebrow. Standing five meters away from her with his hands in his pockets, looking lazy and nonchalant, he chuckled, "Probably."

Zhou Wan could see the vast abyss lying before her.

If she nodded, she would fall.

Her motives for getting close to Lu Xixiao were impure. This was something that could never be changed.

Once exposed, she would be doomed beyond redemption.

Lu Xixiao would fly into a rage. Just as he had said before, if someone betrayed him, he would destroy them.

'I can't be with Lu Xixiao.'

'I can't be with Lu Xixiao.'

'I absolutely cannot.'

Zhou Wan told herself this over and over in her heart.

...

"Okay," she said softly.

But she still wanted to make Lu Xixiao happy.