Oh My God!

Zhuang Fanxin sat at the base of the wall with his legs together, holding the cake. The candles had burned halfway down, but he couldn't bring himself to blow them out. Gu Zhuoyan crouched in front of him, his arm hooked around his calf, stroking it as he urged him, "Go on, blow. How can we eat if you don't?"

“If I blow them out, only the streetlight will be left. That’s no good.”

This handful of warm yellow light was too gentle, as if once it was extinguished, this beautiful moment would disappear along with it. Gu Zhuoyan stared at the flickering flames and remembered something. “Silly, you haven't made a wish yet, have you?”

Zhuang Fanxin said, "I don't need to make a wish."

This melodramatic non-conformist who writes on the beach actually didn't care about making a wish on his birthday. "You don't get it, do you," Zhuang Fanxin said, full of philosophy. "When a person has no regrets or extravagant hopes, there's no need to make a wish."

Gu Zhuoyan, only half-understanding, said, "Translate that for me."

Zhuang Fanxin said, "I'm so happy right now that I don't need to make a wish."

A gust of wind blew past. Gu Zhuoyan cupped his hand to protect the candlelight. They hadn't been able to see the art exhibition together, nor had they gone to the restaurant he'd booked. They could only huddle in a little corner, sitting on the cold, hard stone slate. It was already this damn bad, yet Zhuang Fanxin was saying he was so happy he didn't need to make a wish.

“I'm sorry.” His voice was hoarse.

Zhuang Fanxin captured Gu Zhuoyan's hand, cradled it, and lowered his head to kiss the back of it. "When it's your birthday in March, it'll be my turn to stand here holding a cake. I'll call you 'baby' too."

Gu Zhuoyan laughed so hard he choked on the wind. "Then I won't make a wish either. Being with you, I'm so happy I have no wishes to make. Really."

Zhuang Fanxin put his palms together. "I have one! I hope everyone becomes so happy they have no wishes to make!" Whoosh. The candles, which had burned down to little stubs, were blown out. It grew dark, and their faces became especially soft in the gloom.

Gu Zhuoyan took out two forks and asked, "Did you have a dinner party tonight?"

“We did. We had barbecue. I'm stuffed to death,” Zhuang Fanxin said. Gu Zhuoyan felt his stomach; it was so flat, there was no need to call him out. He gave a sly laugh. "I was thinking of you... so I only ate two lettuce leaves."

Both of them felt hungry, so they started eating the cake without cutting it. Gu Zhuoyan dug his fork in, carving out a pit. Although it didn't have a celebratory message written on it, the taste was divine, so Qi Nan's unreliability could be forgiven.

There was a layer of ice cream in the middle. In the light night breeze, Zhuang Fanxin shivered as he ate, not forgetting to care about trivial matters. "How much did you buy it for? Did you get a discount?"

Gu Zhuoyan said, "Six hundred."

“What?!” Zhuang Fanxin yelled. A stray cat in the darkness meowed, as if calling him an idiot. “How dare Qi Nan rip off one of my people? I’ll deal with him on Monday!”

Gu Zhuoyan laughed. "And how will you deal with him? By sharing a link to the song 'You Won't Have a Good Ending'?"

“Don't you look down on me.” Zhuang Fanxin lifted his bangs to reveal his forehead and said, not without pride, “Haven't you realized? My headbutts are very destructive.”

Honestly, Gu Zhuoyan hadn't expected Zhuang Fanxin to rush over and protect him at all. He had even been momentarily worried that the chaotic situation would frighten Zhuang Fanxin.

After finishing the entire birthday cake together, Zhuang Fanxin set the plate aside. The stray cat he had woken up darted over to lick the cream. He pouted his lips, afraid Gu Zhuoyan wouldn't see the cream on them. When Gu Zhuoyan leaned in, he feigned shyness with a slight nod. It was both tacky and corny. A couple of kisses from the other boy and he'd turn all soft. Meow. The provoked stray cat really wanted to call him an idiot.

After licking the cream clean, Gu Zhuoyan asked enticingly, “Do you want your present?”

“I do.” Zhuang Fanxin exhaled a breath of milky fragrance. Whenever Gu Zhuoyan asked him what he wanted, he would get the mistaken impression of being a kept man. He fluttered his eyelids, attempting to make a seductive gaze, but in reality, he just rolled his eyes at his sugar daddy.

Gu Zhuoyan had been squatting for too long. He stood up, stumbled into the shadows of the trees, and pulled out a large bag from behind a thick tree trunk. It was so big you could probably roll Zhuang Fanxin up and stuff him inside.

Zhuang Fanxin sat up straight, hugging his knees, his eyes fixed on it. Before Gu Zhuoyan could even walk over, he said, moved, "Darling, you shouldn't have spent so much..."

Even the way he addressed him had changed. Gu Zhuoyan first took out the paints Gu Baoyan had given, repeatedly emphasizing that it had cost his sister's dowry money, and told Zhuang Fanxin not to poison the young girl's tender heart anymore.

Next was the lavender gift box tied with a ribbon. It turned out to have a line of text stamped on it: a harmonious union for a hundred years. Amidst the strong wedding-like atmosphere, Zhuang Fanxin opened the box, lifted a layer of dust-proof cloth, and immediately shrieked in pleasant surprise, "—Oh my god!"

Gu Zhuoyan slapped a hand over his mouth. “Mute.”

Letting go, Zhuang Fanxin revealed seven or eight white teeth, shouting in a whisper, “A fencing suit! It’s actually a fencing suit!”

“Do you like it?” Gu Zhuoyan asked, already knowing the answer.

Zhuang Fanxin was so excited he wanted to cry. He picked up the clothes and held them against his body—the jacket, mask, metallic vest, gloves, long socks, fencing shoes—every single item fit his size. Even his parents didn't know his sizes this precisely. He asked, "How did you know my size?"

Gu Zhuoyan said pretentiously, "I just needed one glance to know the general size."

It wasn't convenient to wear it all outside, so Zhuang Fanxin only slipped on the fencing shoes, gripped the foil, put on the mask, and started thrusting back and forth under the broken streetlight. Gu Zhuoyan sat on the stone slate as his audience, petting the stray cat in his arms as he watched.

“Heiyah!” Zhuang Fanxin suddenly turned and stood firm, finishing with a flourish of his foil.

“What for?”

“Take a picture of me.”

Gu Zhuoyan took out his phone and took a picture. “Done.”

Zhuang Fanxin took off his helmet and held it, striking a walking pose with a smile. “Take another one like this.”

Gu Zhuoyan found it very familiar. “...You’re fucking copying me again.”

A gust of wind blew. The cat in Gu Zhuoyan's arms was pushed away by Zhuang Fanxin, who pounced on him. He caught him and pulled Zhuang Fanxin onto his lap. For some reason, he just wanted to laugh—laughing at how easily happy Zhuang Fanxin was, laughing at their strange posture at that moment, laughing at how beautiful the flowers were and how round the moon was.

Feeling the last small box, Gu Zhuoyan said, “Open it and see.”

Zhuang Fanxin lowered his head and opened it. Inside was an award medal. He remembered seeing Gu Zhuoyan wearing it in that photo from the fencing competition. Leaning against the crook of Gu Zhuoyan's neck, he said, “Maybe my heart was moved when I saw that picture of you fencing.”

Gu Zhuoyan held a grudge. “Then what was with all the fuss when I confessed to you?”

“I, I was testing you.” Zhuang Fanxin spouted nonsense. As he lowered his head to post on his Moments feed, Gu Zhuoyan put the award medal on him. Selecting the photo of himself holding the foil, he couldn't think of a caption, so he shoved the phone at the other boy. “You edit it for me.”

“Don’t I have a few too many responsibilities as your boyfriend?”

“Weren’t you the first-prize winner of the essay competition? The able should do more work.”

Gu Zhuoyan edited a short, four-character phrase, paired it with the photo of him holding the foil, and hit send. Zhuang Fanxin snatched the phone back to look. What the heck? The caption was—Seeking a spouse through combat.

“I’m signing up,” Gu Zhuoyan pecked his ear.

The early morning hours had long passed. Afterward, neither of them spoke again, just holding each other quietly at the base of the wall. If it weren't so cold, they probably would have stayed there until dawn.

Gu Zhuoyan carried the bag and walked Zhuang Fanxin back. The draft blowing through the hall was fierce. He pushed open the door and quickly shoved the boy inside. “No need for goodnights, go back and get to sleep.”

Zhuang Fanxin stood inside, closing the door bit by bit and locking it, but he stopped behind the door without moving. There were no footsteps outside either. He knew Gu Zhuoyan hadn't left; he was standing right there on the other side of the crack.

“This is the best birthday I’ve ever had,” he said.

“It’ll be this good every year from now on,” Gu Zhuoyan said.

Staring at the crack in the iron door for too long made him dizzy. Zhuang Fanxin’s voice grew quieter. “Your mother... she didn’t suspect anything, did she?” He had held back from asking all night, feeling anxious the whole time.

“No.” Gu Zhuoyan laughed softly. “You acted so well, she didn’t see a thing.”

Zhuang Fanxin let out a sigh of relief. “I think your mom is very gentle.”

Gu Zhuoyan silently rolled his eyes. Xue Manzi was on the level of the White Bone Spirit, while Zhuang Fanxin was like a little monk who had just come down from the mountain, completely oblivious to the bared fangs and brandished claws behind that gentleness.

After putting the little monk's mind at ease, Gu Zhuoyan went home to rest. When he opened his eyes again, Sister Hu had just finished making lunch.

Three generations were at the dining table. Xue Manzi sat at the table in a nightgown, without makeup; only now did she reveal her true gentleness. Gu Zhuoyan, with his messy bedhead, ate his meal, half-asleep as he nitpicked, “Sister Hu, why is there a boiled egg in my bowl?”

“I asked for it to be boiled,” Xue Manzi said. “Rub it on your face to reduce the swelling.”

Gu Zhuoyan fell silent. That slap hadn't been very forceful. He fed the egg to Bond. When he was picking up food, his chopsticks snagged on Gu Baoyan's hair. He was about to flare up when he noticed the little girl was wearing the bizarre outfit Lian Yiming had given her.

“Aladdin’s girlfriend, right?”

Gu Baoyan said, “Her name is Princess Jasmine.”

Xue Manzi watched them with a smile. She ladled a bowl of soup for her daughter and asked deliberately, “Baoyan, do you like Brother Lian Yiming?”

“I do,” Gu Baoyan replied. “But I like Brother Xiao Zhuang the most.”

Gu Zhuoyan silently gnawed on a pork rib, looking as if he were watching a good show. Xue Manzi glanced at him and asked again, “Why do you like Brother Xiao Zhuang the most?”

Gu Baoyan retorted, “Why do you like Dad?”

'Elementary schoolers are really something else.' Gu Zhuoyan shrugged his shoulders and laughed, putting a piece of fish in Gu Baoyan's bowl. Xue Maochen chuckled. “Xiao Zhuang is handsome, can draw, and has a good personality. It’s perfectly normal for little girls to like him.”

Xue Manzi muttered, "It's not just little girls."

After the meal, the old went for a nap, the young walked the dog, and the mother and son remained at the dining table. Gu Zhuoyan shelled and ate pistachios, his eyes lowered, not looking at Xue Manzi. In reality, his entire body radiated a stubborn, unrepentant aura.

“I thought all night about what you said yesterday,” Xue Manzi said. “Ever since you were little, your father and I really haven't shown enough concern. That's our negligence.”

It was a common failing: parents who were too outstanding and valued their careers too much gradually came to only care about whether their child was also outstanding and what their child's future held. She said, “You’re right. Tracing it back to the source, it's because your dad and I sent you here. But we didn't screw things up. It’s because you've become an adult with your own thoughts and ability to act. We can't control you. Likewise, we can't force you to break up.”

Gu Zhuoyan looked up, thinking his mom had been replaced by someone else.

“From now on, we will slowly change. I hope it’s not too late.” Xue Manzi looked at him. “But your academic future is a part of your life, and I will never relax my demands on you in that regard.”

'Looks like she hasn't been replaced, it's still her.' But Gu Zhuoyan was very satisfied. He went upstairs and returned with a pen and paper. “I’m not some love-struck idiot. What you value, I value just as much. But it’s impossible for me to break up with Zhuang Fanxin.”

Xue Manzi said, “Words are no guarantee. You have to promise me.”

“Isn't that what I'm writing?” Gu Zhuoyan said. “Actually, I’ve already resolved to get into Harvard. I just didn't get a chance to tell you yesterday.”

Xue Manzi was even better at holding grudges. “You can get into Harvard by skipping class?”

Filling a sheet of paper, Gu Zhuoyan read aloud, “I hereby guarantee that from now on, I will never skip class, get into fights, or let my relationship affect my studies. I will ensure my test scores only improve and never regress, and I will strive unceasingly toward my goal of Harvard.”

Xue Manzi said, “There’s no one watching you, anyway.”

“...Then don’t leave.” Gu Zhuoyan added a line. “You must give me sufficient trust. Or should I be like one of those personal shoppers and live-stream short videos of me studying for you?”

Xue Manzi couldn't hold back her laughter. She kicked Gu Zhuoyan under the table, put away the simple letter of guarantee, and handed him a handful of shelled pistachios.

"I really don't want to leave." She asked, “Son, can I stay for a couple more days?”

Gu Zhuoyan couldn't suppress the corners of his mouth either. “It’s your dad’s house. Who's gonna stop you?”

He naively thought Xue Manzi would really stay for a couple more days. However, less than half an hour later, Xue Manzi took a phone call and booked a flight. When she left, he hadn't even finished that handful of pistachios.

Gu Zhuoyan couldn't help but suspect that Xue Manzi's temporary non-interference was only because she was too busy to be in two places at once.

The sun was bright. Zhuang Fanxin was holed up in the study, drawing. The day after his birthday, he officially began designing Gu Zhuoyan's eighteenth birthday present. When the time came, he wanted Gu Zhuoyan to be as excited as he had been when he saw the fencing suit.

An SUV drove past outside the door. Zhuang Fanxin went to the window to look out, not expecting Xue Manzi to have left so soon. He waved into the distance. “Goodbye, Auntie...”

Then, he sentimentally added, “Don’t worry, Auntie, I’ll take good care of your son.”

Just then, his phone rang as if his life depended on it. The caller ID showed Pei Zhi, who had been missing all day.

Author has something to say:

On the way to the airport, I interviewed Ms. Xue Manzi.

Q: Did you really think about it all night and not sleep?

A: Yes, I heard my son having a secret rendezvous outside.

Q: How did you feel about it? A: He’s even more romantic than his father was when he was young.

Q: What are your thoughts on your daughter also liking Zhuang Fanxin?

A: I'd say her chances are slim.

Q: Please say a few words from the heart to the readers.

A: Taking a break tomorrow.