I'll Just Take a Look

After a night of heavy snow, this small courtyard was impossibly white. The eaves and railings, the flowerbeds and lawn, even the nylon clothesline had turned into a white thread. Inside, bodies were entangled under the cotton quilt, baking hot, warming the faint fragrance of pine and jasmine.

Ding Hanbai had always slept sprawled out, rarely holding onto anything. But now, his arms were full, filled with nothing but warmth. He slowly opened his eyes, first seeing the frost-covered window. Lowering his gaze, he then saw Ji Shenyu's soundly sleeping form.

A white streak ran from the corner of his eye—a dried tear stain. Ding Hanbai reached out to wipe it, but his thick calluses were rough and woke the other man. "Morning." His voice was hoarse. "How does that saying go? A hundred years of cultivation to cross a river on the same boat, a thousand years to share a pillow."

Ji Shenyu's mind gradually cleared. Before he could blush about sharing a bed, he was annoyed by the scent of perfume. He abruptly turned over, his back to Ding Hanbai, and said, "A thousand-year-old great bastard turtle, is that you?"

Ding Hanbai knew perfectly well. "To cruelly provoke your heart of stone, I shamelessly spritzed on some perfume. Where else would you find a bastard turtle as brave and clever as me?" He pressed closer, his large hand covering the other's abdomen. Though separated by pajamas, it felt as scorching as skin-on-skin contact. Inch by inch, his hand moved up, stopping only when it reached Ji Shenyu's heart. He pulled him forcefully into his arms, even making the other man let out a muffled grunt.

"Zhenzhu, your heart is beating so fast," he said.

Ji Shenyu's mouth was slightly agape as he was held in Ding Hanbai's embrace, sharing the same quilt. Outside, the world was a desolate landscape of ice and snow, but his body couldn't help but break out in a sweat. His heart beat faster and faster, as if Ding Hanbai had reached through his flesh and grabbed it.

He couldn't take it. "Senior Brother—" He was pulled by the shoulder and flipped back over, landing right on Ding Hanbai's chest. Ding Hanbai cupped his face, and he covered that large hand, asking, "The gloves Auntie gave me were originally for you, right?"

Ding Hanbai didn't answer, retorting instead, "Who told you? Did Auntie tell you herself?"

Ji Shenyu said it was Jiang Ting'en. Ding Hanbai immediately cursed, "Hanging around with that fool every day, giggling like an idiot. You believe everything he says. If he told you one day that the Amber Pendant was a gift for him, would you hand it over with both hands?"

Ji Shenyu said nothing, just stared at him quietly. If it wasn't true, it wasn't true; shouting and cursing like this only made him seem guilty. Ding Hanbai wasn't originally guilty, but being stared at by those eyes made him feel weak all over. He compromised, "Who cares who she was going to give it to? Since she gave it to you, just wear it properly."

"Did you ask Auntie to give it to me?" he insisted on getting to the bottom of it.

Ding Hanbai was defeated and could only nod in admission. "You said you dreamed of Master Ji, so I asked Auntie to cheer you up." He was green with regret. "If I'd known, I would have cheered you up myself. What a sin."

Necks entwined, they talked for a long time. When they grew tired, they simply stayed quiet. Suddenly, footsteps sounded in the courtyard—steady and quick. It was Ding Yanshou. Before Ding Hanbai could react, Ji Shenyu had already scrambled out of his arms in a panic, utterly flustered and scared out of his wits.

In that instant, he completely understood the other's worries. He had willfully sought out a relationship, but it would place the other in a dilemma between loyalty and filial piety.

Ding Yanshou shouted, "Stop sleeping in! Get up and sweep the snow!"

Ji Shenyu hastily agreed. He changed his clothes and rushed to the door to listen. Only after Ding Yanshou had left did he let out a sigh of relief. Ding Hanbai slowly walked out, saying, "My dad comes by once and you're this scared. If he comes twice, don't you dare draw a line between us again."

Ji Shenyu asked, "Senior Brother, do you not have faith in me?"

Ding Hanbai said, "I want you to understand that even if you have ties of gratitude and affection with thousands of people, I am the most important one, the one who must not be let down."

The ground was pure white. They swept the courtyard, built a snowman, and used Agate for its nose and eyes.

Then they went to the shop, playing in the snow all the way, their shoes getting soaked.

Business at the Jade Pavilion was booming, all because of the two square seals. Jade carvings had always been considered handicrafts, but now they were stirring up the waters of the antique world. Ding Hanbai entertained customers for half the morning without a break. His throat was raw. He drank a cup of hot tea from the counter and met Ji Shenyu's upturned gaze, his fatigue replaced by gentleness.

Ji Shenyu asked, "Senior Brother, why do people still flock to them even when they know they're replicas? It can't be just because our craftsmanship is good, can it?"

Ding Hanbai said, "You're an expert in forgery, so you must understand that replicas have different grades. A perfect, authentic piece is a rare find, something one can only hope to encounter. A top-tier replica is slightly inferior, but it's still a fine object that people will crane their necks and bend their backs for."

Within the top tier, there are further categories. Jade is the most sought-after. Good stone and fine jade will only appreciate in value; the cost of the material alone determines its base value. The Jade Pavilion used to only deal in carved handicrafts, but how could collectors of handicrafts compare to collectors of antiques?

Starting with the stone seals, Ding Hanbai wanted to widen the old path and draw antique enthusiasts to recognize the Jade Pavilion's wares. He also had a selfish motive: business, beyond accumulating wealth, was a way to build connections and pave the way for the future.

Ji Shenyu understood immediately and asked, "You had this planned before going to Balin?"

Ding Hanbai hummed in affirmation. "Why do you think I chose stone to pave the way?"

Ji Shenyu answered, "You're casting a stone to attract jade. Something better is coming later."

'He who knows me knows what I seek.' Ding Hanbai was very satisfied. He instructed the shop assistant that now that they had momentum, they had to control the pace. They couldn't accept every order; they had to limit them. Then he dragged Ji Shenyu into the machine room. He worked on his own pieces while keeping the other company as he did his homework.

With the First Shop's situation improving so much, Ding Yanshou was nagged by Jiang Shuliu every day. The gist was always that he had been too quick to resort to family discipline. One morning, when everyone was gathered, a pot of Laba Congee with soft beans and tender rice was placed on the table. They sat around it, warming their stomachs.

Ding Hanbai spoke up, "Business has been good lately, and one person's contribution has been indispensable. No objections, right?" He tilted his head, his leg bumping the person next to him under the table. "I'm talking about you. Don't just focus on drinking."

Ji Shenyu looked up at his words, a bit embarrassed in front of the whole table. He really didn't dare take credit. Just being able to use his skills openly was already a huge satisfaction. Ding Hanbai wiped his hands, pulled a red envelope from his pocket—taut and solid—and said, "It's the end of the year anyway, so I'll give you your reward along with your New Year's money."

No one had any objections. Jiang Ting'en was so envious he kept shooting glances at Ji Shenyu. Ji Shenyu took it and saw a thick stack of hundred-yuan bills. Giving it to him so openly, it was as if he was declaring he would protect him.

He expressed his thanks and said, "It's good timing. The two new pieces are almost done. The transaction is complete."

Ding Hanbai asked, "Who are you completing a transaction with? Is there no personal feeling besides money and goods?"

This sudden jab left everyone else baffled. Ding Erhe quickly tried to smooth things over, "We're all fellow martial brothers here, what's this talk about personal feelings?"

Ding Hanbai said, "You're right. People don't like me. I suppose my feelings aren't cherished either."

A chill ran through Ji Shenyu. He immediately grabbed Ding Hanbai's clothes under the table, only to meet Ding Hanbai's gaze. Teasing, joking, utterly improper... He wasn't trying to pick a fight; he was flirting with him in front of the whole family.

That Laba Congee meal was a heart-pounding experience. Ji Shenyu could hardly tell the lotus seeds from the longans. After they finished, Jiang Ting'en invited him to buy new clothes for the New Year. He saw Ding Hanbai get up as well and asked, "Senior Brother, are you going too?"

Ding Hanbai said, "I have a social engagement, I won't go play with you all." Before leaving, he added another warning, "Don't let Jiang Ting'en freeload off your allowance. That kid is very sly."

Just then, Jiang Caiwei popped up, wanting to go with the two younger ones. Ding Hanbai immediately looked displeased, his nose not his nose, his eyes not his eyes. He fumed internally, 'Why is a marriageable young woman hanging around with kids all day instead of meeting her own friends?'

He forcefully took Jiang Caiwei away and handed her off to Shang Minru. If he could, he would have married Jiang Caiwei off in a heartbeat.

The streets were decorated with lanterns and colored banners. Ji Shenyu and Jiang Ting'en wandered through the department store, joined by Ding Keyu. The two of them never stopped calling him "Senior Brother," extorting him into buying this and that. The latter was bled dry and went off to find his girlfriend, clutching his wallet.

Jiang Ting'en wasn't very decisive. "I want to buy a pilot's jacket, the kind Big Brother wears."

Ji Shenyu said, "You won't look as good as Senior Brother in it. Buy something else."

Jiang Ting'en said angrily, "How am I not as good? Sister Xiaomin said I'm more handsome than Big Brother." After he said it, he clamped his mouth shut as if he'd let the cat out of the bag. Ji Shenyu didn't think much of it and asked, "Sister Xiaomin hasn't been to our house. When did she tell you that?"

Jiang Ting'en said shyly, "She said it on my twelfth birthday, can't she? Besides, although Big Brother is the eldest son and very capable, I'm still the only male heir in our family... I-I'm buying the jacket!"

The two of them played and shopped all the way. Ji Shenyu's hands remained empty, while Jiang Ting'en was like a shopaholic. He also wanted to eat at a restaurant, watch a movie, and get free bubble gum. They were exhausted, and even their feet ached.

Ji Shenyu later bought gifts for both Ding Yanshou and Jiang Shuliu. He wanted to buy something for Ding Hanbai too, but he couldn't make up his mind. Jiang Ting'en, ever the chatterbox, said, "That's true. Big Brother has nothing but fine things. He might look down on what you buy."

Ji Shenyu asked, "What do you think if I buy him a suit?"

Jiang Ting'en was taken aback. "Big Brother only likes to wear shirts. I've never seen him in a suit."

Ji Shenyu thought, 'He doesn't wear one now, but he'll have to for social engagements in the future. And later on, when he's doing business and opens an antique city, he should have a couple of suits for public appearances.' He went ahead and bought one on his own, and also picked out a tie. Then, he caught sight of the colorful display on the counter and wanted to add a pair of cufflinks.

Gilt, silver-plated... He pursed his lips. He felt that anything he made himself would definitely look better.

He thought about it all the way. What kind should he make? Gemstones, white jade... The scenery outside the bus window changed as he leaned against the glass, lost in thought. After a long time, he decided. 'Pearls. I'll make them with pearls.'

Ji Shenyu's heart tightened. It was unknown if he and Ding Hanbai could last, or how far they could go. While things were still good, he wanted to do everything he could. He had to give him the pearl cufflinks. This would probably be the only pair he'd ever make in his life. Once he gave them away, if Ding Hanbai wore them one day, then no matter the outcome, he would have no regrets.

The snow on Sha'er Street hadn't completely melted yet; it was wet and slushy.

The main gate of the Ding Family home already had 'Fu' characters pasted on it, looking exceptionally festive.

The family gathered in the large living room. Ji Shenyu came over after his shower, carrying the gifts he had bought for Ding Yanshou and Jiang Shuliu. Jiang Ting'en stood excitedly in front of the TV, showing off his new jacket.

He asked, "Auntie, who looks more handsome wearing it, me or Big Brother?"

Jiang Shuliu answered, "You're handsome. Just like your father when he was young."

Jiang Ting'en felt that wasn't a compliment. He then asked Ding Yanshou, who was reading the evening paper and only hummed noncommittally. Ji Shenyu was curled up to the side, cracking melon seeds and eating preserved plums, his eyes darting around as he watched the lively scene. 'This is so nice,' he thought.

Jiang Shuliu asked him, "Shenyu, you only bought things for us. Didn't you buy anything for yourself?"

Jiang Ting'en said, "He bought a suit and tie for Big Brother. It was crazy expensive, he spent all his money."

Ji Shenyu couldn't help but straighten his back, instantly tensing up. The slightest thing could touch his fragile nerves. "Senior Brother takes good care of me, so I wanted to thank him." He carefully chose his words. "He definitely wouldn't like anything cheap, so I picked an expensive one."

Fortunately, the two of them didn't say anything, just felt bad that he had spent so much money. Ding Yanshou shook his newspaper and said, "That prodigal son has been out at social engagements from morning till night. What has he been up to?"

Ji Shenyu didn't know either. It was pitch black outside, so he couldn't see anything. He could only prick up his ears for the sound of a car. The family happily chatted about this and that and watched an intense martial arts movie. Around ten o'clock, the phone suddenly rang.

Ding Yanshou answered, "Hello? Yes, it's me. What... the PLA General Hospital?" He hung up the phone and pulled Jiang Shuliu. "Hanbai got into a car accident. He's at the hospital now—"

Before he could finish, the couple saw Ji Shenyu shoot to his feet and rush outside in a state of frantic anxiety, his reaction even more intense than that of his own parents. Ji Shenyu's heart was burning with anxiety. He sprinted back to the small courtyard to grab a cotton coat, wearing only his pajamas underneath. Like a gust of wind, he shot out the main gate and headed straight for the street corner.

Once in the car, his tongue was tied. He slapped the back of the seat, wanting to go to the PLA General Hospital on Fuxing Road.

Just like that, Ji Shenyu rushed to the hospital without a second thought, unable to wait even a minute. After getting out of the car, he sprinted all the way. The doctor had called. Did that mean Ding Hanbai was seriously injured? Was his life in danger? Was he in a lot of pain?

He was dying of anxiety, yet he couldn't stop his frantic thoughts. He burst into the emergency room and completely lost his composure. People with high fevers, allergic reactions, bleeding heads groaning and crying... He couldn't find any trace of Ding Hanbai. He grabbed every doctor and nurse he could find to ask, but none of them knew where the person he was looking for was.

"Not in the ER, the outpatient department..." Ji Shenyu turned and rushed toward the outpatient building, searching floor by floor. He nearly bumped into a nurse and was fiercely berated. He apologized profusely, and when he was done, he leaned against the corridor wall, feeling drained of strength.

Where on earth was Ding Hanbai? How was he?

He should have listened clearly to Ding Yanshou's instructions before coming. Then he wouldn't be running around like a headless fly.

But how could he have waited? He'd been scared out of his soul the moment he heard that sentence.

Ji Shenyu was drenched in sweat. He gathered his spirits and continued searching, only to turn and see the person he was looking for at the end of the corridor. Ding Hanbai had a jacket draped over his shoulders, a circle of gauze wrapped around his forehead. He was leaning against the wall, looking disheveled yet standing tall.

When Ji Shenyu ran up to him, he said lightly, "What are you panicking for?"

Ji Shenyu couldn't answer. He hugged him, hiccuping from anxiety. He pushed him away, but Ji Shenyu came closer again. After this repeated a few times, Ji Shenyu felt hurt and embarrassed by the rejection, clutching his jacket and swaying.

Ding Hanbai asked, "Do you care about me a lot?"

Ji Shenyu nodded nonstop. He cared. Before, he only knew that he cared; now, he understood just how much. At the other end of the corridor, Ding Yanshou and Jiang Shuliu arrived. Ding Hanbai said, "My parents are here."

But Ji Shenyu just looked at him. "Senior Brother, earlier today, I was thinking that I'm willing to be with you, but I couldn't be sure for how long. I was afraid of letting down Master, afraid of people gossiping behind my back. But now, I want to be with you forever. I'm still afraid of this and that, but what I'm most afraid of is you leaving me..."

His master and madam were walking toward them, yet he said those words so clearly. He wasn't stupid. Ding Hanbai had repeatedly forced him to recognize his own heart. He saw it clearly now. He couldn't have both loyalty and filial piety; he could only choose the one that mattered most.

Ding Hanbai pulled Ji Shenyu into a tight embrace. His heart was truly black, to be able to stage a car accident and injure himself just to make the person he liked dote on him and worry about him. That body trembled unceasingly, arms wrapped around his waist, nuzzling against his neck and grumbling about something.

Grumbling that he drove carelessly, but in the end, still worried about him.

The two of them held each other quietly until Ding Yanshou and Jiang Shuliu walked up to them. When they separated, neither of them panicked. Gently, they carried on their secret affair right under the noses of the two elders.

After a roundabout trip home, Ding Hanbai entered the room covered in injuries. A brand-new suit lay on the bed. Ji Shenyu followed him in, closed the door, poured water, made the bed, and stood by the bedside, embarrassed for a good while, before taking off his coat and slipping into the quilt.

He stared at Ding Hanbai's forehead, still worried.

Ding Hanbai asked, "You didn't even have time to change, just went out in your pajamas?"

Ji Shenyu nodded, leaning in to wrap his arms around Ding Hanbai's neck. "Senior Brother." He knew he was a coward. When he was with Ding Hanbai, the slightest rustle of wind would make him tremble. But tonight he learned that that bit of fear was utterly insignificant.

"Ji Shenyu." Ding Hanbai called his name suddenly. "I was standing by the railing. I saw you searching for me, floor by floor."

It was all a false alarm. Ji Shenyu was so exhausted he let out a breath. "Don't you ever scare me like that again."

Ding Hanbai said, "I didn't scare you. Because you love me."

He hugged Ji Shenyu tightly and pushed him down. In the faint light, he lowered his head and kissed him—that pale face, those reddened eyes, he kissed every part. Ji Shenyu was somewhat dazed. He pulled open Ding Hanbai's shirt, only to see smooth skin without a single scratch...

He asked, "How did you crash the car?"

Ding Hanbai mumbled, "Into a utility pole..."

Ji Shenyu immediately wasn't having it. This twenty-year-old geezer was so damn sly! He couldn't struggle free. Ding Hanbai was like the Five-Fingered Mountain, like the Leshan Giant Buddha! The kiss also changed its flavor. Not a trace of gentleness was left. He forcibly seized his lips, gnawing eagerly, ignoring the numb, hot pain.

"Bastard, you great bastard turtle..."

Ding Hanbai was delighted. "I'm just an animal, alright?" As if drunk, he sighed, his large hand stroking Ji Shenyu's body. Reaching his waist, he pulled down his pajama bottoms a little, pressing down from the side, shamelessly heading for the lower regions. He acted shamelessly, but his eyes were filled with earnest tenderness.

Ji Shenyu pushed him, but he only pushed his luck further. "Spread your legs a little..." His legs clamped even tighter, trapping his hand, trembling. His curses turned into pleas.

Ding Hanbai coaxed, "I'll just take a look."

Ji Shenyu was still angry. "Are you castrated? What gives you the right to look at mine?!"

Ding Hanbai could be flexible. "Yours is bigger. Let me broaden my horizons."

Face flushed red, eyes downcast, Ji Shenyu understood. After looking would come touching. They were both men, who didn't know how it worked? But as if he had no will of his own, he obediently relaxed, letting this rogue have his look.

Just then, Ding Hanbai sighed softly, "Now what am I to do?"

The flower hadn't bloomed, the moon wasn't yet full... yet his mind was filled with nothing but doing his junior brother.