Chapter 32 Part 2

The lid suddenly tilted and slid off, falling toward her head. Song Ran flinched in fright, the back of her head brushing against his chest. Li Zan deftly caught the lid with his other hand.

He glanced down at her, huddled against his chest, and said softly, "Sorry."

"I should be the one saying thank you." Her face red, she quickly stood up straight. They brushed past each other's shoulders as they moved apart.

Song Ran took a small breath, walked to the stove and picked up two eggs. Feeling it was too plain, she turned her head and said, "There's some cabbage in the yard, want to add some?"

"Okay."

In a vegetable patch in the backyard, cabbages were growing crookedly. Li Zan turned back and asked, "Who planted these?"

"My grandmother's seeds. I just scattered them randomly."

"I can tell," he said.

She blushed for some reason.

"Here." She handed him the knife. Li Zan took it, glanced at the cabbage patch, and asked, "Which one?"

Song Ran stood on her toes and pointed. "The smallest one."

Li Zan went over and crouched down. He grabbed the base of the cabbage with one hand and sliced it with the knife, making a crisp sound as the stalk broke. He handed the knife back to Song Ran and stayed squatted by the patch, picking off the bug-eaten leaves.

Song Ran walked to the steps and crouched by the faucet to wash the mud off the knife blade.

There was no light in the backyard; the back door was open. A beam of light shone out from the house, casting an oblique patch on the ground. Song Ran crouched by the back door, her long shadow stretching out in the light; Li Zan crouched on the line between light and darkness, the expression on his lowered profile hard to make out.

Song Ran looked at her own shadow on the ground and secretly shifted a little to the side—her shadow leaned against his back.

She 'leaned' against him and suddenly called out, "Ah Zan."

"Hmm?" Hearing this name, he turned to look at her, his eyes dark and bright in the night.

She asked, "Are you scared?"

His hands, still picking leaves, paused for a moment. "Scared of what?"

"Of not getting better."

He turned his head back and said, "Yes."

In the quiet backyard, running water gurgled, washing over the knife in her hand, refracting slivers of white light.

He added another word, saying, "Very."

To desire something so much, yet never be able to obtain it, and thus live a life of mediocrity—there was probably nothing worse or more terrifying in life than that.

She lowered her head, her fingers wiping across the water-rinsed blade. "Don't be scared. It'll get better." Perhaps feeling that wasn't very convincing, she added, "I think."

Li Zan's lips curved into a very faint smile as he plucked at the cabbage leaves.

Song Ran looked at the shadow on the ground and gently 'leaned' against his back again, pretending to silently give him strength.

She was squatting unsteadily, swaying slightly. She accidentally tilted, and her shadow fell over his head, blocking his light.

He turned to look over just as he finished with the cabbage. He stood up and said, "This cabbage doesn't look very good, but it should be delicious."

Song Ran quickly and awkwardly turned off the faucet, stood up, and agreed, "Of course. It's been too cold this winter. They say the colder the weather, the sweeter the cabbage."

...

Back in the kitchen, Li Zan washed the cabbage and the pot, filling it halfway with water and placing it on the stove. Song Ran turned on the gas stove, and the flames leaped up.

Both of them took a step back in unison, leaning against the wall with their hands behind their backs, waiting for the water to boil.

The small kitchen fell quiet again for a moment, with only the sound of the flickering flames, accompanied by the wind outside.

Li Zan observed the stovetop and saw a complete, one might even say very rich, collection of seasonings, as well as various tools for making fried rice and other dishes, and all sorts of pots and pans, even a milk pot.

He asked, "You used to cook, didn't you?"

Song Ran understood immediately. "Yes. But I haven't been in the mood lately."

"You still need to eat properly," he said.

"Okay," she replied, staring at the flames. "...Actually, I'm a very good cook. I'll let you see for yourself when there's a chance."

"Okay," he said with a faint smile.

Before long, the water boiled. She lifted the lid, and steam billowed out. Song Ran took out the dried noodles, pulled out a small handful and dropped it into the pot, then pulled out another small handful to show him. "How much do you eat? Is this enough?"

Li Zan said, "A little more."

She measured out another handful with her fingers and turned to look at him.

Li Zan touched his nose. "A bit more."

She grabbed another handful, her gaze questioning.

He looked like he wanted to laugh but didn't, and simply took a step forward, pulled out a handful himself, and dropped it into the pot, sighing softly, "You really don't know how much guys eat, do you?"

Song Ran was slightly surprised. "I was afraid of making too much and you getting stuffed."

Li Zan said, "Was that first little handful your portion?"

"Yes."

He chuckled. "Are you feeding a kitten?"

Song Ran: "..."

As soon as the noodles entered the boiling water, they softened, and the broth began to bubble. After cooking for a while, Song Ran threw in the cabbage leaves and cracked in two eggs.

Li Zan stood at the counter nearby, took two bowls, and added soy sauce, bean paste, salt, and chili sauce to them, preparing the base for the noodle soup.

Once the cabbage leaves had softened and the eggs had set, Song Ran took a pair of chopsticks and slowly stirred the noodles in the pot.

The billowing steam wafted onto her face. As she stirred, she suddenly called out, "Ah Zan?"

"Hmm?" Li Zan was scooping chili sauce into a bowl and turned to look at her.

But she was staring at the pot, stirring the noodles very seriously, and said, "That day, were you going to save Shen Bei?"

Li Zan looked at her for a long moment, then lowered his head to put the sauce in the bowl and said very clearly, "No."

A hard, icicle-like thorn that had been piercing her heart slowly melted away. The corners of her mouth turned up unconsciously.

He caught a glimpse of it and asked, "What are you smiling about?"

"I'm happy." She looked at the pot. "Although it's not quite right, I'm very happy." With a bit of force from her chopsticks, a noodle snapped. She turned to look at him, her eyes sparkling, and said, "The noodles are ready."

Li Zan smiled. "Okay."

Song Ran stepped aside and handed the chopsticks to Li Zan. He ladled the noodles from the pot into the bowls, poured the broth over them, and gave them a stir. They were done.

It was the most ordinary bowl of noodles, soaked in a savory broth with a poached egg and a pile of cabbage leaves. Yet the two of them ate with great satisfaction, as if they hadn't had such a gratifying meal in a long time.

By the time the kitchen was cleaned up, it was past nine at night.

Li Zan was leaving. Song Ran saw him to the courtyard gate, glanced at the pitch-black alley, and suddenly said, "Wait for me a second."

She quickly ran into the house and ran out again just as fast, stuffing a flashlight into his hand. Her cheeks were flushed as she pursed her lips and said, "It's dark in the alley."

Just as Li Zan was about to say something, she cut him off. "I have a lot of flashlights at home."

Li Zan paused for a second, then smiled. "Okay."

His expression turned slightly serious again. "If you have any trouble tomorrow, tell me."

"Okay," Song Ran said. "If something comes up, can I call you?"

Li Zan said, "Of course."

Society these days is strange. Many people clearly have each other's numbers, yet calling someone feels like a private and overstepping act.

They looked at each other, both smiling with mutual understanding.

"I'm going," Li Zan said, turning on the flashlight. A beam of white light pierced the darkness, shining brilliantly into the alley.

"Okay. Goodbye." Song Ran waved at him.

He had walked some distance when he turned back and saw her still standing at the door. He raised his hand and said.

"It's cold. Go on inside!"

"Okay!" Song Ran replied, closing the courtyard gate.